Homesick
by SouAisu
Summary: A combination of short stories about Levi & Eren. This is pretty old and I wrote this for NaNoWriMo 2013. warning: this is so old and i'm not proud of this but many peeps have said i should upload this so here you go. also sorry about many ooc moments etc. mentions of petra/levi and armin/mikasa yay
1. The Beginning

It was a dark, ordinary night of January. It snowed a little, and the ground was white because of it. The moon was shining bright, and everybody was asleep. Expect for these two guys. They were just hanging around in Eren's room, and talking about random things. "You know, the moon is really cool", and stuff like that. It was a night anyone could have had.

"Have you ever seen the moon as big as today?" Eren asked from Levi. "I actually haven't", Levi silently replied. Eren turned his gaze at Levi. "You want to go and see it better?" he asked. Levi nodded and Eren took his hand. Then they ran.

Levi took his jacket, and also Eren's jacket. Eren was so in a rush he didn't even remember it was so cold. Levi put on the jacket, and so did Eren. "Thanks" he thanked for the jacket as they slowed down the running. They walked towards the roof. "Are we going to the roof?" Levi asked. "Yeah, there we can see the stars and the moon better", Eren said.

Then they came to the roof. It was really high and a little bit snowy too. It was really cold. Levi felt like his hands were freezing. "It's a little cold, don't you think?" he said to Eren. Eren looked at him and hugged him, asking: "Is it better now?" Levi hugged him back.

Then Eren looked at the sky, and made a huge "Whoa!" sound. Levi also looked. The sky was full of stars, it was gorgeous. The moon was so bright, white and it looked a bit lonely. Still, it was so amazing. No words could describe that. It was like straight from a painting or something.

Eren and Levi decided to stay there, watching the stars almost the whole night. They were talking about everything and nothing. Sometimes Eren asked "I wonder what it would be like to travel to space…" and things like that; everything related to moon, stars and space.

When the morning came, they agreed to go to their own rooms very silently and carefully. They didn't want to wake up anyone. And that's what they did. No one woke up, and they got to their rooms in time, before the breakfast.

They both enjoyed this night a lot. They even talked about doing it again, though the moon wasn't as amazing after that day. Still the most important thing for them was being together, just the two of them, all alone.


	2. Chocolate For Valentine's

-So, who are you going to get chocolate from? Armin asked with a shy voice from Eren. He looked really nervous. Maybe he believed that he wouldn't get any chocolate. In Eren's opinion that would have been great, so you wouldn't have to buy anything for White Day.

Slightly embarrassed, Eren looked around him. He was making sure NO ONE would hear him say this.

-This year I am thinking about ME giving chocolate, he stated.

-What? You're not a girl! Armin argued.

-I know that, but I really have one person to give my chocolate to, Eren explained.

-Really? But I… You know… You're not a… That's for girls! Armin kept on going the same road.

-I know, I know, but still though, Eren was also stubbornly repeating.

They argued this same little thing for a while, until Eren gave up and Armin got through his will. Eren would give up on giving the chocolate, and just receive the chocolates.

Meanwhile, Mikasa was really excited about the Valentine's Day. She had got chocolate for her friends, Armin and Eren. Mainly for Eren, though. She didn't want Eren to have nothing, so she would do anything for her.

The chocolate she had bought for Eren was in a big heart-shaped box. Armin's chocolate was in a smaller box. For Eren she had fondant chocolate, and for Armin it was just something not as expensive. Eren would obviously love the chocolates.

And so the Valentine's Day came. Eren and Armin woke up really early to start receiving chocolates. Armin though still didn't think he'd get any. Eren was a little sad, because he couldn't give any chocolate for the one he had wanted to. Still he kept his head up.

The first chocolates they got at noon. It was Christa, she knocked their room's door and apologized for bothering them. Surprisingly, the chocolates were for Armin. Christa whispered something for him, so that Eren couldn't hear it, and just walked out of the room, smiling. Armin smiled too; he placed the chocolates to his bed and started waiting for more. He had got some confidence now.

Soon, it was Mikasa's turn to give chocolates. She was standing outside Armin's and Eren's room. She was staring at the door, breathing deeply. She closed her eyes and thought about what she would say. Maybe "Happy Valentine's Day" was good, or just "Here ya go". Well, it doesn't matter, she went in.

-Oh hi Mikasa, Eren greeted her.

-Hi Eren, this is for you, Mikasa said and reached out the chocolate. It was wrapped in a red gift wrapping paper. It was made really smoothly and the bow was nicely done.

-And Armin, I've got something for you too, she said and gave the chocolates for Armin. Armin looked really surprised.

-You have something for me? He asked and took the gift from Mikasa, who nodded and turned away.

-Oh, and happy Valentine's Day by the way, she added and opened the door.

But behind the door there was someone, who looked really angry. Yes, it was absolutely, definitely, certainly, surely Lance Corporal Levi. He was just going to knock, when Mikasa opened the door.

-Oh, I'm sorry, she apologized and bowed. But the "someone" was already walking to the room.

-Eren, I've got something to talk with you about, he blurted and took the boy's hand. He was holding it very tightly.

-O-oh, was all he got to say, when he was already out of the room. Levi was dragging him through the halls and when they got to the dining hall, they stopped.

Eren was waiting for Levi to kick him, or at least to yell at him, but instead, he was leering around him and checking for witnesses. Eren was very confused.

-What is it, Corporal? He asked carefully.

-It's nothing big, the Corporal mumbled and looked at Eren. He looked very ominous. Not that he didn't usually look like that, though.

-I've got something for you, Levi said and picked something from his pocket.

-Wh-what is it? Eren was a bit scared. It would have to be some kind of a work-list for him to do.

But it wasn't. Actually, it was something WAY different from that. It was a box of chocolate, cleanly wrapped in some paper. The bow was a little off though, it looked like someone had tied it, who really couldn't, or wasn't good at it.

Eren took the gift, and was a little abashed. Why would Corporal give him something like that, especially on Valentine's Day?

-Corporal, is everything okay? Eren made sure. The Corporal didn't answer, and just walked away. When he was already away, Eren looked at the box a little while. "What?" he asked from himself.

He walked back to his and Armin's room. Mikasa wasn't standing on front of their door anymore, she had gone long ago. Armin was still sitting in the room, alone. He was eating the chocolates from Christa. When Eren came to the room, Armin looked at him.

-God, How you scared me! He said, still with a little fear in his voice. He looked at the box in Eren's hand, then back to Eren, then at the box again.

-What are you looking at? Eren asked.

-I was just wondering who that box is from, Armin said.

-Nobody really, Eren replied.

-Well what did Corporal say? Was he angry? Did he make you do chores? Armin kept asking.

-Oh no, not at all, Eren smiled.

-What no? He wasn't angry? He's always angry! Armin was curious.

-This time he wasn't, or that's what I think, Eren told him.

-How do you think that? Armin asked.

-Armin, you're asking too much, Eren noted. Armin looked at the chocolate box and apologized. Eren hugged him and sat next to him. They started waiting for more chocolates. Or at least Armin did. Eren didn't need new one. The chocolate the Corporal had given him was enough. Instead, he started to think about the White Day. "What should I give him? What indeed?" he thought.

The night came, and Eren hadn't decided. It was still okay. He had time, but surely, he'd give something. He was glad to have received the chocolates from the Corporal; just the right guy. He was also glad that he had decided not to give the chocolate to the Corporal. This way he was able to receive the chocolates. He fell asleep.


	3. 42

"Those who are dead, they're not dead, they're just living in my head…" Levi sang. He was singing alone in his room. "And since I fell for that spell, I am living there as well", he continued the song. He kept on singing those two lines. Just those two, nothing else. He hated everything else. Everything else was useless. He didn't need anything else, he didn't need anyone else.

Levi had lost his squad, during the female titan's attack. It was the anniversary of their death. It had been exactly year today. He didn't want to remember it, but everything made him remember. He hated it, hated it so much it made him want to punch the table.

Eren opened the door of his room. "Go away", Levi blurted immediately. "But Corporal…" Eren whispered. Levi gazed at him. "What is it?" he said with an angry and cold voice. His voice sounded like it was going to break in a moment. Eren silently said "I heard you sing, it was pretty". Levi looked at him in disbelief.

Levi turned around and acted like Eren wasn't there. "Those who are dead, are not dead, they're just living in my head", he sang again, but more quietly. This time it sounded a bit sadder than before. "And since I fell for that spell, I am living there as well…" he continued. Eren took a step closer. Levi continued singing. He sang further this time."Time is so short, and I'm sure there must be something more".

Eren took another step. There was a silence. Levi didn't sing anymore. "You thought you might be a ghost, you thought you might be a ghost, you didn't get to heaven but you made it close, you didn't get to heaven but you made it close", Eren continued the song. Levi looked at him. "What are you doing, Yeager?" he asked. "Finishing the song, as it seems you are not going to do so", he justified.

Levi looked away again. "My life has no meaning" he claimed in misery. Eren took two steps closer and sighed. "You're wrong", he said. "And how are you sure, exactly? What is the meaning then?" Levi asked. Eren smiled. "42", he answered.


	4. The Dream Sonata

"It would be easier for you to fall asleep if you turned around and I'd pet your feet", Eren said to me. Well, as it in reality is, I do have a sleeping disorder of some kind. I haven't told about it to anyone or no one has told to me about it. I just have noticed it. And so is Eren, as it seems.

I agreed and turned around. He started to pet my feet and it felt actually really nice. After a few deep and gentle thoughts I fell in a deep, deep sleep. It was like diving into a whole new world, or into a really big swamp or something. I'm not really good at dreaming, but it seemed like this one would be something big, something really big. I mean, something huge was coming. I was already able to see it.

I sat in a whole white room. The ceiling was white, the walls were white, the floor was also white. There were no windows, nothing else but a chair in the middle of the room, and me sitting on that chair. I was staring at the wall and couldn't look away. It was like I was paralyzed. It felt like there was happening so much around me, yet in reality, there was nothing. I was breathing silently, and my breath echoed in the room, though just faintly. Still, I could barely hear my own thoughts.

I have no idea how much dream-time I spent in that room. It felt like minutes, though it could have been hours, or even days. And before I noticed, the room had turned black. The walls had text on them. I had no idea what it said. It was a foreign language, and I'm no good at those kinds of things. And it was on some foreign letters too, so that minimized the chance for me to understand it.

Suddenly, I stood up. It felt like some force was pushing me up. The floor made a little cracking noise and then broke. I fell through it. Before I had time to think about it, I was drowning in a red sea. I turned my gaze to the surface. It was plain black. The blood-red water was pulling me down forcibly, and I didn't have time to do anything, when I was already in the bottom of the ocean.

I was lying there, alone. There weren't any fishes. Weird, wasn't it? I thought that there was supposed to be some fishes in the sea or something. Or at least some plants, or whatever. There was only sand and a few bigger stones in the bottom. I reached my hand towards the surface, and then something grabbed it. I was again moving, this time towards the surface.

The speed was really amazing. It felt actually really good. It was like flying, in a weird way. I closed my eyes, and opened them again. Then the surface broke my thoughts and illusions, and I was again in the white room, or at least where it should have been, though it wasn't there.

I was at some kind of a beach. There was sand, the red ocean and some grass also. I was lying in the sand on my back. I couldn't move at all. The wind was also blowing a little. It was playing with my hair. I was staring at the sky, and saw various clouds. They were shaped like all kind of things; flowers, houses, people… And the sky was deep blue. It was a really nice weather, one could say.

I then heard something. It was like music. I could move again, so I stood up and looked around me, but saw no one. I was absolutely alone. There was nothing around me but sand. "Hello? Is anybody there?" I yelled. No one answered. "I must be alone then", I replied for myself. I sat on the sand and started to listen again. The music I heard before hadn't stopped. I listened to it for a while, and thought about things I've got to do.

The music sounded really beautiful. It was also very sweet, though it was sad and gentle at the same time. I heard various instruments, such as the piano, violin, cello, flute, and some kind of bass-drums also. I sat there, listening to the music for a while.

After a few minutes of listening, I stood up and started walking around the beach. The music was still playing. I decided to go towards the music. The sand was making weird noises below my feet. Crash, crash, crash... That's what it sounded like.

The music got louder and louder as I walked. "Who is playing it, I wonder?" I thought. Once in a while I looked at the ocean and saw the red water make waves small and big. Back and forth, back and forth, it went. It looked really beautiful. Everything was beautiful there. "I'm glad I got out of that white room", I stated.

I gazed at the horizon. The ocean was huge. So huge I couldn't see anything but the red water. It was really amazing. I have never seen anything like that. "Whoa", was all I could even say about it.

I started walking again. The music was still playing, but louder. Finally I saw something. The "something" was far away, but I saw one person sitting on a chair. I started running, and the music got louder and louder again.

When I finally reached the person, the music stopped. The person looked at me and I looked back at them. "What are you doing here?" the person asked. It was a boy with messy brown hair and green eyes. He looked very familiar but I couldn't figure out why.

"I actually don't know", I answered to that boy's question. He looked at me. I continued: "But I heard music, was it because of you?" I asked. "Oh, the music? Yeah, I was listening to it, too. You see, I have this small player", he said and pointed at a table next to his chair. There was a small music player. It looked like its voice couldn't reach very far away, but it still reached. Very far away, actually. I could hear it from such a distance.

The boy stood up. He was taller than me, though he looked a lot younger. "So, where are you going?" he asked. I didn't want to answer the question, so I started walking away. Unfortunately, the boy started following me.

I looked at the boy and asked "Who are you? What are YOU doing here?" He looked at me and smiled. "I actually don't know either, maybe we could be friends?" he said. I turned around and the boy ran next to me. He grabbed my hand.

Now I knew who he was. His hand felt so warm and nice. His grip was really gentle and powerful at the same time. He was smiling, and his smile also was warm. It was bright and looked really fragile. Like, if you'd say one word, he would crash and fully break down.

"Eren..?" I whispered. "What? You know my name?" he was stunned. "Yes", I replied. He didn't seem to recognize me, or even know me.

_We walked and talked and sometimes we laughed._

And I was happy. The dream I had was starting bad, yet it was a dream of my dreams.

Then I woke up. It was like someone had poured water on me. It felt so bad to leave that boy alone. But then I remembered; that boy is also here. That's why it was okay.

"Eren, do you know something about music? Anything?" I asked him in breakfast table. He started to think. After a while of silence and thinking, he answered: "No, I don't". He looked a little upset and I could see he was sorry. "It's okay", I replied "You don't have to know". He looked at me and gave a faint, unsure smile.

I didn't have any appetite, so I stood up and left the table. "Corporal? Aren't you going to eat?" Eren said. "No, I'm not hungry", I said. Eren also stood up and came after me. "Then neither am I", he said.

"Corporal, did you have a nightmare?" Eren then asked. "Oh no, not at all", I said with a smile so faint it was pretty hard to see. Even I didn't know if it was a smile or if it wasn't. "Well, did you have a dream at all?" he said. "Yes, a really nice dream", I replied. Eren took my hand. It felt the same as in the dream, though it was more vivid. "Can you tell me?" he asked.

I looked at Eren. "You really want to know?" I doubted. He nodded and gave me a big smile. He was really excited, or that's what I thought. I then led him to my room and sat into my chair. He sat next to me and I started to tell him all about that dream I saw. The white room, the red ocean, the music, the boy… I told him everything.


	5. Stars

It was a night in April; the nice, springy month. Eren and Levi were lying on the grass. They were there to watch the stars. The sky was huge. If you'd want to count all of the stars there, you would have to spend your whole life doing that, and even more.

The two were silent. The only one to speak was the nature. The stars were watching back at Eren and Levi. It was a night of one kind. Levi loved that kind of nights, when he could just be with Eren and think on his own.

"Do you think the stars have life too?" Eren suddenly asked. Levi started thinking. He looked at the stars a little while, and then said: "Yeah, I think they _did_ have a life". Eren looked at him. "What do you mean?" he asked. "You know, when you die, you become a star", Levi stated.

"I believe that everyone's there. Petra, Oruo, Erd, Gunther… Even your mother", Levi said. "You really believe so?" Eren asked. Levi nodded. "And I believe that the more you're loved, the brighter you'll become", he said.

Eren smiled. "Do you think your squad is bright?" he asked. Levi looked at Eren. "I do", he said "I do believe they're brighter than any stars out there." "Me too", Eren said and smiled. "You really loved them, did you? Even though you always look so cold…" he continued. Levi nodded. "I loved them, and I still do. They're the bravest soldiers I've ever met. I'm so proud of them…" he said.

"Everyone will be a star someday…", Eren repeated. "Do you think that even bad guys will become stars?" he asked. Levi nodded once again. "Everyone" he said.

Eren looked back to the stars. "Will you become one too someday?" he whispered. Levi closed his eyes and replied: "Certainly". Eren also closed his eyes. "Will you then watch and guard me? And can I come here and see you and talk to you again?" he asked. Levi opened his eyes, and so did Eren. They looked at each other. "Of course", Levi said and smiled faintly. "Anytime", he said.


	6. Symphony of Memories 1 - Appassionato

This is a story of my and Corporal's past. It's about the time I confessed to him. It is really a bit awkward and embarrassing thing to tell, but I'll still try my best.

It was a rainy night. I was sitting in the dining hall of the Survey Corps, drinking hot chocolate, as I didn't care for coffee so much. I was all alone. The rain was playing music with the windows of the building. The roof was also making all kinds of sounds.

The atmosphere was really weird on that night. I wasn't thinking about anything special. I wasn't sleepy at all, even though the Corporal was sleeping already. I was wondering what Armin and Mikasa were doing. Maybe they were sleeping too, or at least trying to.

Suddenly I heard footsteps. Whoever it was going to be, they were going to scold me for not being asleep. I had to find a way not to get found out. I left my cup on the table and panicked. "What should I do, what should I do?!" I whispered to myself. "I hope it's not the Corporal…" I wished. He would scold me the worst, that's for sure. Then I got it, I'll just hide under the table. I know, I know, it's the worst place to hide, but it was so dark so it was pretty hard to see.

The footsteps came towards the dining hall. "Oh no I'm going to be found", I thought alone. The footsteps came closer and closer. They were right next to the table. I was holding my breath. "Don't see me don't find me don't see me don't find me", I wished. Then it happened.

It was _exactly_ the Corporal. He looked under the table right away. "What the hell are you doing, Yeager?" he asked with a scary, voice of an old man. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my hiding place. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry", I repeated. The Corporal looked at me with the actually same face.

I stood up. "I'm sorry for not being asleep, Corporal, please forgive me!" I apologized. He stood there, right in front of me. He was a lot shorter than me. He looked even shorter than normally. He looked a lot older and more fragile than usually. Actually, I thought it was really cute. What would it have felt to hug him? I'm pretty sure it would have been nice…

"Why exactly are you not in your room?" the Corporal asked me. I looked at him with an awkward smile and replied: "I'm not sleepy". He looked angry. "Go to sleep already", he said and turned around to go to his own room. "Wait, Corporal!" I had to ask him a few things before he would leave. "Why are you here? Did you hear me?" I asked.

The Corporal turned around and looked at me. He looked a little tired and angry, but cute. "I was thirsty", he said with a low and scary voice. It was probably a lie. "But you didn't drink yet…" I notified. "Well, I'm not thirsty anymore", he stated. I took his hand and smiled. "Let's drink together", I said. The Corporal gazed at me and after a while, nodded.

The night from that second onwards wasn't exactly what I had expected. I had expected for a night with Corporal; for a night of the two of us talking about random things and everything else. I thought that we would have drank together, stay awake the whole night and such as. But the night was almost the absolute opposite.

Corporal was just sitting there. He was drinking water and I was drinking the hot chocolate from before. It had gone cold already, though. Once in a while Corporal looked at me, but just for a small amount of time, then he looked back at the wall or at his glass. We stayed silent. I didn't really have the courage to say anything, Corporal neither didn't seem to have, or he could just have wanted to drink and quickly go back to sleep. Maybe he didn't like me.

I had feelings for Corporal. He didn't know it yet, though. This was the perfect time to tell about my feelings. I just had to wait a little while and start talking about it. This was my chance; I wouldn't let him go before I had told him. No one else around, just me and Corporal, that was for sure.

"Um… Corporal?" I whispered after some while of silence. The Corporal looked at me and gave a "what"-saying look. "I… Um… There's one thing I want to talk about…" I stuttered. He looked a little frustrated. "I'm sorry, Corporal… I just had to tell you that - um – I really, really, like you and…" I kept stuttering. "Is that so?" he replied and took a sip of his drink. I was panicking, oh God how awkward I was.

The Corporal stood up and left the room. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make the situation any more worse. It was already so bad. I hated myself so much for doing that, and the Corporal hated me too. I had failed, failed really badly.

After the Corporal had gone a while ago I still sat in the dining hall. Again I heard footsteps. "It must be the Corporal, maybe he forgot something", I thought by myself. And so it was; the Corporal came to the room. He looked a little nervous (but cute). I was wondering why. It really wasn't like him to be nervous, not at all.

"Err…" he whispered. I looked at him. "What is it?" I said. He looked away. "It's just…" he whispered again. "I like you too, you know" and then he left. I looked after him a little while. Did I hear right? Was this a dream? Was this a dream was this a dream was this a dream? Is this reality? Am I in Heaven!?

I left the room, smiling. I guarantee I looked so stupid. If someone came to my room they would laugh their ass of and ask if I'm on drugs or something. But I was so happy, just so happy. I loved the Corporal so much. Now I knew he loved me too.


	7. Symphony of Memories 2 - Tenerezza

This story is about some not-so-ordinary night from the past. It's one of my dearest memories.

At first glance, it was just an ordinary night. It was raining hard, and the windows were making annoying noises, that's one of the reasons why it was really hard to sleep. I still tried. I had to try. Even with my sleeping disorder, I wanted to try sleeping. I was so tired.

After many hours of turning around and thinking about weird things in my bed, I gave up. I decided to just go and have some coffee and stay awake the whole night. It's okay if it's just one night, or that's what I thought.

I opened my room's door and went outside. The halls were cold as usual. I didn't have shoes and my feet were freezing little by little. I hate cold, I hate hot, and I hate everything. I'm no good, hating everything, nothing's good with me.

I finally came to the door of the cold dining hall. There was someone else before me there, though. There was a cup on the table, and I don't remember leaving it there. I went to check the table, and I noticed something under the table. I checked it and there was that one brown-haired boy hiding in there.

"What the hell are you doing, Yeager?" I asked silently. Eren looked like he saw a ghost or something. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his place of hiding. Why the hell would he hide under the table? It was 100% chance you'll be found, that stupid brat. He apologized me countless of times.

Eren stood up and looked right into my eyes. "I'm sorry for not being asleep, Corporal, please forgive me!" he said. I was just standing there. He looked scared, still. Actually, he was a bit cute. What would it feel like hugging him..? No no no no I can't think of those kind things right now…

I then asked: "Why exactly are you not in your room?" Eren looked at me and smiled awkwardly. "I'm not sleepy" he said. What a cliché way to lie. "Go to sleep already", I said and turned around to go back to my own room. "Wait, Corporal!" he yelled after me. "Why are you here? Did you hear me?" he asked.

I turned around to look at Eren. I bet I looked stupid. I was so tired and annoyed. "I was thirsty", I said with a low and tired voice. "You didn't drink yet?" he claimed. "Well, I'm not thirsty anymore", I said. He took my hand and smiled. "Let's drink together", he suggested. I gazed at him and nodded.

This is the awkward part. We were sitting in the table just drinking. I drank water and Eren was drinking his hot chocolate. "But I wanted coffee…" I thought by myself. I looked at Eren. He was a little nervous, or that's what I thought.

After a while of silence, Eren started stuttering something. I don't even know what. I looked at him questioningly. He told me he wanted to talk about something. "I'm sorry, Corporal… I just had to tell you that - um – I really, really, like you and…" he was stuttering. "Is that so?" I replied apathetically and took a sip of my drink. I bet he was embarrassed, oh how cute he was. I wish I had courage to tell him about my feelings too. Please just marry me.

I then stood up and silently, slowly left the room. Eren stayed there, or I didn't see him leaving, so he might have stayed there. I walked back to my room and sat on the bed. Right after sitting, I felt like something was wrong – no, everything was wrong. I had to go back and say something to Eren.

I leered to the dining hall from the door. Eren was still sitting there. While leering, I suddenly stumbled on my feet and Eren noticed me. He was sos scared he jumped from his chair. "Too cute", I whispered so that he couldn't hear me. "Err…" I stammered. He smiled at me in relief. "What is it?" he said. "It's just…" I whispered. "I like you too", I said and quickly left the room.

That was the most embarrassing moment in my whole life. First stumbling on my own feet in front of the one person I truly love. Then awkwardly confessing my love and feelings for him and finally; just leaving him alone. I should have at least hugged him or said something like: "Good night, sleep well".

But it also was the happiest night of my life. I'm so glad I did all those awkward things. I'm so glad it wasn't a dream. I'm so happy about my sleeping disorder and that fact I couldn't sleep. I'm happy about everything.


	8. Enterrez-moi

Levi was lying in his arms. His foot was aching. It hurt really badly. He wanted to scream, but it was so pitiful that he couldn't do it. He wasn't able to. He would completely break down if Eren hadn't been there to hold him. He needed it more than anything.

"Eren.." Levi called. Eren looked at him with warm eyes. "What is it, Corporal?" Eren replied. "You can call me Levi, but only today, only now", he said. "Okay", Eren answered. "You know... If I die now..." Levi whispered. He looked away. He didn't want to see anyone now.

"Corporal Levi..." Eren said. "No, just Levi is enough", Levi ordered. Eren nodded and with a warm voice fixed: "Levi... You're not going to die". "But if I would die now… Then would you bury me?" he asked "With only you nearby? I wouldn't need anyone else to see it, you know?" Eren looked at him. "But you're not going to", he kept on telling him this same thing.

"Please, just listen to me", Levi asked. Eren hugged him more tightly. "Listen, Corporal - I mean Levi - You're alive, and you'll be for a really long time. You're not going to die yet. You'll die when you're like 90 years old! Not even then, you know!" he said. Levi looked at him with plain eyes. "Is that what you think?" he asked. "Why?" he looked straight into Eren's green eyes. "Because you're strong", he replied immediately. "Like how?" Levi asked. "Like... In many ways, you know? I've never seen you cry, not even once", Eren answered.

Levi looked away. He wanted to cry, but couldn't. "Levi", Eren started. "You can cry. Just cry", he said. "There's no need to", Levi replied as tears started flowing from his eyes. Eren smiled softly at him. "You're so cute..." he said. "I'm not!" Levi told him, now hugging him back. "You surely are", Eren told him. But Levi was already asleep.

Eren stood up, with Levi still in his arms. He carried him to his bed and let him sleep. "You're the cutest soldier in the whole world..." he whispered.


	9. All I Need

_"__Someday you'll have to die. Everyone dies. But I wish so much it will not be today. Just please, survive. Hang in there. You're not ready to be taken away. Don't go, not yet. I want you to be with me one more night. If it's too much to ask, then take me instead. It's okay if I leave, I'll be okay. Just not him."_

It was a day among others. The sun was shining, the sky was bright blue. Few soft-looking clouds, looking like pillows were drifting through the sky. Everyone should have been happy about that day and weather. Eren though wasn't.

How could anyone be happy, when they're loved one was not feeling well? Eren's summer was going to be the worst ever, if his loved one just stopped breathing and died. When he was worrying about his love and future, everyone else was having fun outside. He was just sitting on a chair, in a plain white room, next to a bed where his love lied.

Eren was looking at the bed. He didn't look at the one lying there. He hated the bed. It was embracing someone who belonged to him. What a shitty day it was going to be.

At any moment his loved one, Levi, could have just stopped breathing. It would crush and break Eren down. He didn't know what he could do. "Nothing". But what is nothing? What do you do, when you do nothing? What are you thinking when you're thinking nothing? Is there something that is nothing? Or is nothing just plain darkness?

Eren wanted to cry. Seeing Levi just lie there, eyes closed, was just as breaking as it would be if he died. Just waiting there him to die or live, it was absolutely nerve wracking. He felt a tear on his cheek. "No", he whispered and wiped it away.

Levi opened his eyes. "E-", he spit out. "Corporal!" Eren was relieved. He wanted to hug Levi, but then remembered he was in a weak condition. Thank God he was alive. Eren looked straight into Levi's eyes, who didn't really look like he was in the mood to talk. Eren still tried to talk with him.

"Corporal, I'm so glad you're alive", Eren sighed and took Levi's hand. Levi looked away. "Yeah, still", he whispered. Eren petted his hand. "You'll be okay, you're not going to die", he said. Levi wrenched his hand away from Eren's. He didn't say anything and just stared at the wall next to his bed. He didn't even try to look at Eren. _"I've seen this room before"_, Levi thought.

"You know, when you'll be alright again, we can do everything together again", Eren said, he still sounded a bit sad and unhappy, but he tried to make up a happy voice. Levi still didn't look at him. "_If _I'll be alright", he corrected. "You'll be, I'm sure of it! I know it!" Eren tried. Levi went under his cover and was silent.

Eren looked at Levi. "It's okay if you don't want to talk, I can go away if that's what you want", he said and stood up. But before he could move, Levi took his hand and whispered: "No, don't go." Eren looked at him, who was peeking under the cover. "Don't leave me alone", he whispered. Eren smiled. "I'll never leave you alone", he said and sat back to the chair.

"I'm feeling sleepy…" Levi whispered. Eren smiled. "You can sleep", he said. "But there are lots of things I have to do. Who'll be out there defending everyone if not me?" Levi said with a sleepy, mumbling voice. "You don't have to do them now, you should rest", Eren whispered. He bent down and gave a kiss on Levi's forehead. "You'll be okay soon", he said.

Levi closed his eyes. He fell asleep immediately. Eren looked at him sleep. All he wanted was Levi to be safe. He wished so much for him to survive. It wasn't so bad, wasn't it? He would be okay with his foot. He would be just okay soon.

It was dark. The night had come and the moon was shining brightly. Stars could be seen from the window over Levi's bed. Eren was still sitting next to the bed. He didn't feel sleepy at all. He didn't need to sleep. He needed to stay with Levi; he didn't want to leave him alone. He promised.

The night was also beautiful, almost as beautiful as the day, maybe even more beautiful. Eren stayed there, petting Levi's hand and watching him sleep. He was smiling all the time. Levi was still asleep. He was breathing pretty heavily. "Everything will be alright", he whispered by himself. He crossed his hands.

_"__Dear God,_

_Please let Levi survive._

_Let him be able to walk normally again. Let him be able to laugh with me, and be with me again._

_And please,_

_Let me be with him._

_Amen"._

In the morning Eren still wasn't sleepy. He couldn't sleep. How could anyone sleep in that kind of situation? Levi woke up again. He looked at Eren. "My hand…" he mumbled half-asleep. "What is it?" Eren asked, smiling. "Nothing", Levi whispered and turned around. "What time is it?" he then asked. "It's eight o'clock in the morning", Eren answered.

Levi turned around again. "It's that early?" he said. He looked at Eren. "Why are you awake?" he asked. Eren smiled at him. "I'm watching over you", he replied. "There's no need to do that", Levi stated. "There is", Eren whispered. Levi looked at him. He looked confused. Maybe he didn't remember anything or maybe he was still half-asleep, who knows.

Levi stood up; he sat on the bed and looked straight at Eren. "What is it, Corporal? You should rest, don't push yourself", he said. "Eren, bring me coffee", Levi blurted and looked still a bit sleepy. His hair was messy and his eyelids looked really heavy. Eren nodded and went to get him a coffee.

Levi was left all alone in the room. He sat on the bed and moved his feet. "Ow", he whispered once in a while when he moved his left foot. "It hurts pretty badly", he said with a faint smile with some disappointment in it. He stood up and fell to the floor. "Oh yeah, I can't walk so good…" he said.

Eren came back to the room. "What are you doing?" he asked while Levi was lying on the floor. He put the coffee on the table and picked Levi up. "Don't push yourself, didn't I already say it to you?" he said. Levi looked frustrated. "I'm okay, I can walk by myself", he said. "No, you can't", Eren stated and guided Levi back to his bed. "You should rest", he said when Levi sat on the bed.

Levi turned around, staring at the wall again. "Are you okay?" Eren made sure. "I'm perfectly fine, brat", Levi blurted. Eren sat on the chair and petted Levi's back. "Do you want to sleep?" he asked. "No, I'm not sleepy", Levi claimed. "You surely look sleepy", Eren said. "But I'm not", Levi argued. Eren sighed.

Eren looked at the window. The day was not as beautiful as yesterday. It was still pretty nice, the weather. "Corporal… You'll be okay", Eren tried to tell Levi. "What if I'll not be?" Levi replied. "I'm sure you'll be, just believe in me now", Eren told him. Levi looked at Eren. "Will you then be with me again? Even though I'll not be able to walk as good as before?" Levi asked. Eren nodded. "Of course. I love you", he said. "The way you walk will not decide if I love you or not", Eren stated.

Levi looked at Eren. "Really?" he made sure. "Yeah", Eren smiled. Levi gave back a really faint smile. "I love you too", he said.


	10. The Kill

It was an ordinary day. Just the way Eren liked days: simple and bright. Or it was, until that one thing happened.

Eren was going back to his room. It was a long day, cleaning the dining hall. No one helped him, since… Well, there was no one _left_ to help him, and Levi was busy, or that's what he had said. "Finally I'm done, should I report the Corporal that I'm done?" he was wondering. And that's what he decided to do. Sadly, it was the biggest mistake he had yet made.

Eren knocked the door leading to Levi's room – no answer. He waited a while – no answer. He knocked again – no answer. He decided to go in. "Corporal, are you…" he said and saw something really shocking.

It was Levi – the Corporal – sitting on his chair. His wrists were bleeding. Blood was all over the room, in the desk, in the chair, in his clothes. "Corporal!?" Eren shouted and ran to him and took him in his arms. "Eren…" Levi replied whispering. "Who did this to you?" Eren asked, tears were overflowing from his eyes. "No one", Levi replied. "What do you mean by that!?" Eren didn't understand what he was saying. He didn't understand at all.

"Tell me who did this to you!?" Eren cried. The tears had overflowed. His cheeks were wet from his tears. "This…" Levi whispered. Eren looked at him. He had to bind the wounds. He took his sleeve and ripped it, using it as a bandage. "Yes, yes, tell me", Eren said. He rolled it around Levi's arms, binding the wounds.

_"__I did this"_

Eren couldn't believe his ears. "What? Who did it?" he had to be mishearing it. Not him, not the Corporal, not Levi. He didn't have a reason to do so.

Or did he?

"I did it, Eren", Levi whispered. Eren looked at him. "Why did you do this!?" he yelled. "This is not like you at all! Not at all!" he kept shouting. "What if you had died!?" he shouted. "That's not okay! Not okay, you understand!?" he said. Levi looked away. "Don't", he said.

"Don't? That's all you have to say? I was so worried about you!" Eren shouted. Why why why why why would Levi do that to himself? It's not like he was an angsty teenager or something. He isn't, right? "Don't tell me you've done this before?" Eren said. Levi was still looking away. "Let me down…" he whispered, Eren was still holding him tight in his arms. "I won't", he said. "I'll never let you go again, or you'll hurt yourself again", he said. "I won't…" Levi said.

"Yeah, like I'm gonna believe you!" Eren said. "You're not?" Levi whispered. "Who could believe someone who's doing things like this? It's not okay, right? NOT OKAY AT ALL", Eren answered. "Just tell me why", he was calming down. His heart had been beating really fast.

Levi remained silent. Eren looked at him. "It's because of your squad, isn't it?" he said. Levi nodded. "It's not the only reason", he said. Eren was really upset. Why why why why why why why someone would hurt themselves? Just why?

…

Eren calmed down. He let Levi go, who was now standing in front of him. He tried to go away, but Eren took his hand. "Don't go yet, I have something to tell you", he said. "You're going to do that again, aren't you?" he asked. Levi looked away. "It's not like…" he mumbled. "You are?" Eren said. "…maybe…" Levi whispered.

Eren took a knife from Levi's table.

"If you're going to cut yourself, then take my arm, look me in the eyes and cut it. Cut my arm as many times as you would cut your own arm", he told Levi.

Levi looked at Eren. "I…" he said. Eren gave the knife to him.

"I couldn't hurt you…" he said.

Then he understood it.

Everything.


	11. With Closed Eyes

Eren and Levi were sitting under a big, big tree. They had a basket next to them. The basket was filled with lots of different kinds of food. There was sandwiches, a pie, a cake and some drinks. Simply, they were having a kind of picnic under that tree.

Sitting under that tree was nice. The day was warm, the sun was shining. It wasn't too hot, because Eren and Levi were sitting on shadow. It was just like they liked it. Not too hot, but not too cold; exactly as warm as it was good.

"Hey, Corporal", Eren then whispered. Levi looked at him. "Isn't this nice? This kind of a day, I mean…" Eren continued. Levi nodded. He took Eren's hand and leaned on him. Eren placed his hands around Levi.

Some birds were flying up in the sky. Eren looked at them and smiled. The birds looked pretty. They were free, just like he and Levi were now. Eren looked at Levi. He had fallen asleep. Eren patted Levi's head, who then mumbled something and pressed himself harder to Eren's chest. Eren hugged him tighter.

"It's pretty nice", Eren whispered and closed his eyes. "This kind of a day…" he repeated himself. He then fell asleep too. They were sleeping under that big tree, together. No one came to distract them, as it was such a peaceful day. Nothing woke them up.

After a few hours Eren woke up. He shook his head and looked at Levi. He was still sleeping. Eren hugged him and said with a sweet voice: "Corporal, it's time to wake up". Levi opened his eyes and saw Eren. He also shook his head and stood up. He took the basket and started walking away.

"It was a nice day"

_"__I can't fly with my broken Wings of Freedom. But I can always try…"_

_"__Corporal,_

_I hope you're not sad. If you are, then don't be. There's no need. Everyone, me and your squad, are missing you so much. We love you, Corporal. You're the best Corporal one could have._

_Even though there were times no one liked. Even though there were times so awkward no one wants to remember them. All of the times with you still remain in our memories._

_I know it must be hard for you to lose something so important. It must be hard for you to bear all the sadness in your heart. Still, I want you to believe me; there's no need to be sad._

_We're alright._

_Just keep on moving forward by your own, you don't need our help anymore. You're okay on your own, aren't you?_

_The only thing we need is that you remember us, even when we're not there with you._

_We love you, Corporal._

_Keep up the good work, Petra and your squad."_

"Fuck…" Levi whispered after reading the letter he had found from Petra's room. It was lying on the table, looking lonely. He didn't know how long or since when had it been there. He just happened to find it while cleaning.

Levi was crying. "How can I not cry without you, you shitty brats", he whispered. "Fuck fuck fuck", he repeated again and again.

"Corporal, are you alright?" Eren said as he walked into the room where Levi was reading the letter. "I'm okay", Levi replied as he hid the letter from Eren and wiped his tears. "I'm really, very okay", he repeated.

Eren nodded and left the room quickly. Levi stayed there and read the letter once more. He was still crying. He read it again and then again. He kept reading it so long he didn't cry anymore. How could that be done? He cried every time he read the letter. Again and again.

"I'm proud of you all", he whispered silently _"So proud…"_


	12. Symphony of Memories 1 - Lacrimoso

My past wasn't bright. It wasn't bright at all. In this story I'm going to tell you something about it. No, I'll tell you _all_ about it, all about me.

I was a stupid child. I thought everything would happen what I wanted. I thought that when something was perfect and happy once, it would be perfect and happy forever. I thought I would make through my life with just going with the flow, and blindly believing what's been told. That wasn't the case though.

When I was young, I lived with my parents; mother and father. They were not so tall, so neither was I. I was actually really short, compared to others, as I am now, too. I was bullied because of that. I was called by mean names, and I was laughed at. "Shorty", was the most common name for me.

I took it all on my shoulders, and never told anyone about it. It was okay, though. It didn't hurt as much as it usually hurts when someone's being bullied. Or that's what I thought. The truth is it hurt more than I ever knew. I just acted it didn't have an effect on me at all. In reality, I was in edge to fall to depression. I was barely hanging on the happy side.

When I was 10 years old, my father started hitting me. It wasn't anything bad at first. He just hit me when mother didn't see, or was away. It was because of various reasons. I had done bad at school, I did something he didn't allow, I said something he didn't want me to say, I broke something by accident, I was a bad child. "You're a bad child", was something he told me every time he hit me.

After a year, when I was 11, he started hitting me more and more, and because of more ridiculous reasons. It went overboard. It went so much overboard. He hit me because I said something, when I didn't like something, when I talked about something nice, or something not nice. "I hate you, you know? I wish you were never born. Go die", he told me many times.

This was a way to or my depression. I started to cry when I was alone. I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want anyone to be near me, nor talk to me. I was so sad, just plain sad. I hated myself, I wasn't good, I was bad. I was filled with everything that made me hate myself. That's the reason I hated myself so much.

One day, when I was 13 years old and I came back home, my mother and father weren't there. They used to sneak out together on their own. They had always gone seeing the outer world. For that, they used a hole in the wall they had once found. It was big enough for a human to fit in and out, but a titan was too big to fit.

I immediately thought they had gone there again. I was wrong.

When the night came already, and no one had come back home, I had to go check it. I went to that same spot they used to sneak beyond the walls. I was only outsider who knew about it. Me and my parents were the only ones.

I went through the hole. It was my first time going outside the walls. Usually I tried to avoid it, because I was so scared.

When I had walked a while in the outside world, I found something horrifying. It was my parents' bodies, lying there, under a tree. They were bloody and one of them was missing a foot, the other one was missing the whole upper half of its body.

I cried and cried. I knew it didn't help or wake them up. They had died. They were dead and that's it. There was nothing to do about it.

I buried them. I buried them under the big tree they had died. It was hard and rough work for a small child like me, but I had to, for my parents' sake.

That was the reason I started cutting myself. No one was there to stop me, no one cared about me. I know it wouldn't make me happier at all. It wouldn't bring me anything I wanted. It would just make my life worse.

The thing that made me stop cutting was a girl I fell in love with when I was 16. She was two years younger than me. She was beautiful, the most beautiful person in the world. She had short curly, blonde hair. It looked really beautiful and soft. She was taller than me, by 5 centimetres. It was okay for me, though.

But why would a girl so beautiful notice someone like me? I had to do something about myself.

That's why I stopped cutting, and I started thinking about my future a little more. There was one light in all of the darkness around me. And the light was that girl, Helene.

I loved Helene so much. At first, she didn't notice me, but soon that changed.

I started to talk with her. She liked me. Or at least she didn't hate me nor unlike me. Soon, we became friends.

After a few years, when I was 18, I told her about my feelings. She was surprised. "I didn't notice it at all", she said. I was a bit embarrassed, but after she answered to me, I was so relieved.

"Yes, I love you too, Levi".

My whole life made a U-turn. At first, I was so depressed I would have killed myself at some point. I'm so glad I didn't. Then I found love. Helene was her name.

When finally Helene was 18, and I was 20, we got married. We moved to a house deep in the woods. It was a really beautiful house, perfect for the two of us. Helene said she wanted to start studying. She wanted to become a doctor, so she could help the ones who really need help. I told her about my dream to become a florist. It was a bit weird dream, but I loved flowers. Another dream of mine was to become a poet. Though that did never happen.

We discussed about our future. About the child we wanted to have. "If it's a girl, what should it be named?" Helene asked me. I didn't know. I was bad at naming. "But if it's a boy, it's Eren, right?" she said. I agreed.

I wrote poems. They were short or long, sad or happy. I loved writing them. They were all for Helene, every one of them.

When I was 24 and Helene was 22, we decided to have a child. We succeeded and now we needed to wait.

…

After 8 months had passed by, and it was Helene's birthday, I decided to take her to the outer world. She had talked about it for a long time. I wanted to fulfil her wish. And that's exactly what I did.

I took her to the hole my parents had used to sneak out. We went through it and Helene was amazed. The outer world was beautiful. Helene loved it. We carved our names to a tree out there. It was the same tree I had buried my parents' under.

Helene didn't want to go back home when the day had ended and the night was coming.

"It's dangerous to be here at night", was what I told her.

…

When we got back home, we went straight to bed. I was so tired of walking the whole day, I fell asleep almost immediately.

Helene though didn't.

When I was asleep, Helene left the house. She went to the hole, and through it.

I woke up.

When I noticed Helene wasn't home, I was worried. I ran to the hole, went through it and saw the same scenery from 11 years ago.

Expect for this time it was Helene.

Helene was lying on the ground. She was dead. Blood was everywhere. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe my eyes. "Helene, wake up", I wept. She didn't answer.

I cried the whole night, and when the morning came, I started burying her. I buried her, _and our boy child_, at the same spot where my parents lied.

_"__Goodbye Helene, goodbye Eren."_

…

After this incidence, I went back to our house. It felt so big and lonely. I cried.

I lighted a candle. I took all of the poems I had written, and burned them. I hated every single word in them. I hate them still.

When I was done, I moved away. I left the house, the forest and the whole district. I went inside the inner wall and started living there as a thug.

I met many people while living there. They became my friends. We also had 3DMG's with us. They were stolen, of course.

After living many years with these guys, a man came to meet me. He suggested me to join the "Survey Corps" and that's where it all began…

My past is something that is very hard for me to talk about, or it's maybe a bit painful to remember all of it. There's also lot of other things I'd rather not talk about, and things I have already forgotten about. I guess this was it, as long as it now is. I'll end here before I remember something else.


	13. September 5th

It was a beautiful night in September. The leaves were slowly and silently falling to the ground. All the leaves in the trees were red, yellow and orange. It was really beautiful scenery to see.

That day, the Levi Squad's mansion got a piano to the dining hall. It was just standing there, beside the wall. It was gathering dust, as no one played it. Levi said he didn't know how to play it, so he didn't touch the piano. He just wiped the dusts away once in a week.

Eren didn't like the piano. It made him feel a little unstable. It made the atmosphere really dark. It was like the piano would be haunted. Not that it was, though. It never did anything unusual nor did Levi say it made him feel weird.

One night, when it was raining, and the weather was all autumn-ly and such as, Eren felt like playing something. It had been a long time since the last time he had played, but now he really wanted to play. That's why he stood up from his bed and silently walked to the dining hall, where the piano was standing.

The piano looked really lonely. Tonight it didn't have a strange atmosphere. The atmosphere was more like really nice and it called for Eren's hands to touch it. It wanted Eren to play it.

Eren sat on the chair and put his hands over the keyboard. He was feeling the cold keys in his fingers. They felt familiar. Just like the ones he had played a long time ago. Then he pressed some keys randomly. The piano let out a faint sound.

Eren started to play. He played something sad, then something happy. After that he played something slow, then something fast. Then he played all these combined. He played everything.

When the morning came, Eren was still playing. Levi came to the dining hall to eat breakfast. He looked at Eren who was still playing. The boy was playing some really beautiful song. It was making Levi smile a little. He went to get a cup of coffee.

After the song had ended, Eren noticed Levi. "I'm sorry Corporal!" he stood up and immediately apologized. "Keep on playing", Levi said with a straight and piercing voice. Eren bowed and sat back to the chair and started playing again. Levi was listening closely while he played. It sounded really beautiful, still.

Eren played for a few hours in the morning. He played even better than before. That's because he was playing for the Corporal, for Levi, for his Dear Corporal. He played with full emotion. He put all his feelings to his fingers, and played. Levi enjoyed it. He drank coffee while listening to Eren play. It was a really nice song he played.

"This should become a habit", Levi said. "Excuse me?" Eren replied after he had stopped playing because of hunger. He had to eat something. Levi took a sip of his coffee. Eren made himself a sandwich. "You should play me more often", Levi continued. Eren looked at him and smiled. "Of course, if that's what you want", he said.


	14. Still Hard for Me

Eren was sitting in his bed. "It's too bad…" he whispered by himself. No one else was around. Levi was already asleep in his room. Eren knew that because he had gone and see if he's sleeping.

…

During the day, Eren was sitting in the dinner hall, together with Levi. Levi was drinking his usual coffee, and Eren was just staring at him. It was a really pretty day. The leaves had already fallen, and everyone was waiting for the winter to come. The snow should come any moment now, just in few days everything would be covered in white.

Eren was waiting for the winter to come. He was really excited about it. He could finally go and watch the dark sky and bright moon together with Levi. They could make a snowman together, even though it was a job for little kids to do. It would be fun, but just if it was with Levi.

They would throw snowballs at each other. They would build a castle of snow, though neither of them would fit in. They would get to see the snow fall down to the dead grass. The Christmas would come. Everything would be beautiful and nice.

Eren and Levi could go inside when they're too cold to be outside. Eren could warm Levi up with a hug. They could drink hot chocolate together again. It would be the perfect winter for Eren, just with Levi.

"Are you waiting for the winter too, Corporal?" Eren asked while Levi took a sip of his coffee. Levi looked at Eren and smiled a little. "Yeah, sure", he then answered and took another sip. Eren smiled back and stood up. He was going to leave the dining hall to go outside to see if there were any leaves on the trees anymore.

"Wait. Don't go yet, I have something to tell you", Levi said to Eren before he got to leave the room. "What is it, Corporal?" Eren turned around. Levi looked at Eren with a serious kind of look. "It's just that…" he said "I've been thinking about all these things… About… Well, us." Eren looked at Levi's eyes. Levi was trying to avoid Eren's gaze.

"What about us?" Eren looked a little confused. "Well, you know, the age gap between us is huge", Levi replied a little nervous. Eren shook his head. "It's okay, I don't mind", he said back to Levi, who was now looking straight into Eren's eyes. "It bothers me", Levi said seriously. "And there's a lot of things you don't know about me and my past", he continued.

"Are you going to leave me?" Eren asked, a little bit shocked. "Eren, we never were together", Levi stated. Eren looked at Levi. He wanted to cry his eyes dry. Was this really the end of the two of them? It couldn't be, Levi must have been joking. "So, if it's okay with you, then never think about me anymore, like that, I mean. We're not lovers, and we never were", Levi said and stood up. He left the coffee cup on the table and left the room.

Eren was left there. He was just standing and thinking about what just happened. That was not like Levi, not like him at all. Levi wouldn't say such things, would he? How is this possible?

Eren also left the room. He went to his room and sat on the bed. He started to silently cry, but he didn't notice it. "Is this really the end?" Eren cried "It can't be…"

Meanwhile, Levi was in his room. He was leaning on his worktable. He was holding his breath for a moment. Then he breathed out deeply. "It was hard", he whispered "But now it's done". He looked out the window and saw one tree with a few leaves. He looked at the tree for a while, and after that long while, the tree dropped its leaves.

Levi felt a little sad for the tree. It had lost its last leaves. It was like Levi. Levi had lost his happiness from his life, but he didn't really mind. It was really bothering him, the age gap. It was better now; everything was better now. He didn't feel that bad anymore.

Eren though, wasn't feeling good at all. He was sitting in his bed, crying. Levi thought that Eren wouldn't take it that hard. He didn't know how fragile Eren could really be. He thought Eren would just be okay with it, too.

Eren didn't like it at all.

Eren was really into singing. He sang all the time, about all his feeling. This feeling he now had, it was a mixture of anger and sadness. It contained some tears and then some will to hit things. "What did I do wrong?" was the phrase to tell about this feeling.

Eren started to sing.

_"__With a thousand lies_

_And a good disguise_

_Hit 'em right between the eyes_

_Hit 'em right between the eyes_

_When you walk away_

_Nothing more to say_

_See the lightning in your eyes_

_See 'em running for their lives"_

That's how he sang.

Levi heard Eren's singing. He went to peek from Eren's door to his room. It's not like Eren was going to come out of his room, so it would be okay, he wouldn't notice Levi.

_"__Now dance, fucker, dance_

_He never had a chance_

_And no one even knew_

_It was really only you_

_So dance, fucker, dance_

_I never had a chance_

_It was really only you"_

Eren continued the song. Levi was listening closely. He was enjoying Eren's singing, he enjoyed it before too. He loved it when Eren was singing. His voice sounded so emotional, it was full of feelings.

Eren hit the bed. He kicked the wall. Levi heard that too. He felt Eren's pain. "I'm sorry…" he whispered quietly ad kept on listening to Eren.

"I never had a chance…" Eren whispered. He screamed. He screamed so loud it hurt Levi's ears. Levi started to feel bad about the things he had said.

Levi knocked on the door.

Eren looked at the door, as Levi opened it. He came in. "Are you okay? I heard something weird and some screaming", he lied. Eren looked at Levi with a painful look on his face. Then there was a long silence.

"I'm sorry…" Levi then whispered. Eren looked at Levi. "It's okay, I understand how you feel", he said with a smile. The smile looked fake. It looked like it was forced on his face. Levi didn't like that. Not at all.

"It's okay", Eren whispered as tears started to flow from his eyes, down on his cheeks, then to the floor. Levi looked at Eren in disbelief. "It's NOT okay", he said and stepped closer to Eren. "If it's that bad, then it's not okay at all", he continued. Eren looked at Levi with tearful eyes.

Levi hugged Eren. Eren hugged him back. He started crying more. He cried like a waterfall. That's how he felt at least. "I'm okay", he wept. Levi hugged him more tightly. "I love you", Eren cried. Levi smiled. "I love you too, so it's okay now", he said.

Eren hugged Levi more tightly. They hugged for a long time. Eren was crying. His face was wet from the tears, and so was Levi's shirt.

Levi let Eren go. "I'm sorry about your shirt, Corporal…" Eren apologized quickly. "Oh, I don't mind", Levi said and smiled faintly. Even though his smile was faint, it looked really happy. "I love you, Eren", Levi said and turned around.

Eren took Levi's hand. "Corporal, I hope it's not too much to ask, but would you stay here?" he asked. Levi turned around and looked at Eren. "Of course it's not, I'll stay then", Levi replied. "Will you sleep next to me?" Eren whispered. Levi smiled. "Of course I will", he answered.


	15. He lost his lullaby

_"__When these warm days all are over_

_I want you to stay by my side_

_Will you do it just for me and_

_Remember to laugh with -"_

"This is no good", Levi whispered "This is shit". Levi ripped the paper on two pieces. "It's no good at all… I have lost my talent", he said and threw the paper pieces to a trashcan. "I think I can't write anything anymore, so no poems for Eren", he said, and was a little bit upset.

Levi stood up and left his pen to the table. He looked out the window. It was raining. "The fall is coming after all…" he whispered. Personally, he actually liked the fall. It was a little bit dark, but that really made the atmosphere nicer. It wasn't too hot, nor was it too cold. It was exactly the way he liked it. And he liked the rain. The sound of it, dropping gently on the window and on the roof. It was really nice.

He sat back to his chair. "I won't give up… This will become a poem! I will write the fucking poem for Eren!" he encouraged himself. "This will be a poem, and this will be a good one", he promised.

_"__Me, being always so cold, and starting these fights,_

_Just how were you able to hold me so tight?_

_Now I'm too far from you, too far from your hold, and I_

_Just cannot keep you in my own sight"_

Levi let out a deep, deep sigh. "This isn't moving anywhere…" he said. "I have to do this, this is not good enough!" he scolded himself. Try harder try harder try harder! He had to push himself on doing this poem. It was a present for Eren. He had to make it good. He had to make it the best poem he had ever written.

"I'm so regretting for burning the poems from before… I could've just reused them or rewritten them", Levi sighed "No, I can't cheat like that." He started writing again.

_"__if you've got the same ears_

_as i do_

_i'd sing a song of my feelings,_

_but would you_

_listen to me?_

_if you've got the same heart_

_as i do_

_i'd give you love as much as i can,_

_but would you_

_take it from me?"_

"Now this is already something!" Levi said as he jumped from excitement. This was the thing he was looking for. He had finally found the right path. Now he just had to do a few fixes and a continuation.

"This is good this is good this is good", he repeated a few times "This is the best!" He stood up and made a few spinnings in the middle of his room. "This is just perfect!" he shouted. He surely hoped no one was listening to him right now, especially not Eren.

"Eren, I've got a present for you…" Levi said as he opened the door to Eren's room. "Hm? What is it?" Eren said and looked at Levi who was standing behind him. Levi looked around and then came few steps closer. "I wrote it for you", he said and handed a note for Eren.

"Is it a letter?" Eren asked and took the note. Levi looked away and said: "Read it and you'll find out…" Eren looked at the note. "Thank you, Corporal. I'll read it!" he said and opened the note.

Levi left the room. He didn't want to see Eren's reaction to his poem. It would be really embarrassing to just stand there and watch someone read your poem.

Eren took a look at the note. This is what it said:

_"__I haven't written poems for a long time, so please pardon me for this being… Well, what it ever is. I wrote poems last like 10 years ago, so I might not have the grip of this anymore. I still hope you like it…"_

Eren smiled. So it would be a poem. He opened the note more and looked further. There was the poem.

_"__If I'd give you the same ears I do have,_

_I'd sing a song of my feelings,_

_but would you_

_Listen to it?_

_If I'd give you the same heart I do have,_

_I'd give you love so much,_

_but would you_

_Receive it?_

_Hey,_

_If I'm too bad for you,_

_Then you may kill me too,_

_After that I'll be_

_Just the way you'd have me_

_When you say you love me,_

_I will be where you want,_

_nowhere,_

_not here,_

_baah.._

_If I'd stay at the same place where you are now,_

_I'm sure you wouldn't cry for me anymore..._

_How can I?_

_When can I?_

_Can I now?_

_It's a suicide._

_I didn't want to leave_

_Nor give you so much to grieve_

_I will remember you,_

_So just please take_

_This love, from my hand,_

_Hey,_

_If I'm too good for you,_

_Then you may love me too,_

_After that I'll be_

_Just the way you'd take me_

_When you say you hate me,_

_I can't be where you want,_

_nowhere,_

_not here,_

_In a way, it hurts..._

_If I'd give you the same ears I do have,_

_I'd sing a song of my feelings,_

_but would you_

_If I'd give you the same heart I do have,_

_I'd give you love so much,_

_but would you_

_I'm sure your ears do hear me,_

_From so far away,_

_I'm sure your heart receives me,_

_From this far away,_

_You're the one who's giving me,_

_That's enough for me_

_For me, seeing your smile,_

_That's all I need."_

"This is…" Eren whispered as he had read the poem "This is amazing…" He sat to his bed and held the note on his hands. "I love it, thank you, Corporal…" he said with a silent voice


End file.
